Archive for July, 2019

My “Good Thing”

He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD (Proverbs 18:22)

I am going to take the time in this note to brag on my wife. Kathy and I have been married for 35 years and when we married many people said we would not last 5 years. I do not look at her and think we have “lasted” a lot longer, I look at her with grateful love and appreciation that she said yes to me. We have been through a lot together.

We married on March 30, 1984 (our first date was December 10, 1983). I deployed on April 23rd for seven and a half months. When I returned, she had our first apartment all set up and ready for our first “home”. She did this without fully understanding everything about being a Navy wife and she did it with magnificently. Spanish Oaks in Charleston, South Carolina will always be special to us.

She gave birth to our son, Jason, on November 29, 1985 at 4:55 AM because she told my mom she was not having Thanksgiving in the hospital. God was good and let her have mom’s thanksgiving meal…then he broke her water just a few hours later. We had no idea how much her life would change in less than a year.

In 1986 a scan revealed a grapefruit sized tumor in her brain. While we were not faithfully following the Lord, we prayed that He would help us, and He did (a reminder that God is faithful even when we are not). Even though Jason’s first birthday was celebrated in Kathy’s hospital room, the tumor was successfully removed. The only complications we had were dealing with a few infections, which called for surgery to remove part of her skull and replace it with a protective mesh. This just means she cannot go on rides at amusement parks that throw you around or get you dizzy. The doctors also told her that because of some of the medications she was on she might not be able to get pregnant again…they were once again wrong. In the summer of 1987, we found out she was pregnant.

Because of the medications she was having to take, this was not an easy pregnancy. Kathy started having seizures and we spent many days rushing to the ER to monitor her and the baby. On March 27, 1988 at 11:36 AM, our daughter Amber made her entrance into this world. She was born a few weeks early and did not like normal formula for a while, but she was healthy and so was Kathy.

Over my 21 years in the Navy we moved almost every 3-5 years, and Kathy was usually the one having to do all the planning and preparing (I was out to sea or on a mission during shore duty). For some reason the Navy always moved us around her birthday (Oct 5), this was an emotional strain for her.

Since 1986, Kathy has been diagnosed with many health issues, many of the hereditary. She has neurofibromatosis (discovered because of brain tumor), equilibrium issues, osteoporosis (especially in her lower back causing chronic pain), arthritis, and most recently fibromyalgia. I write all of this not for anyone to feel sorry for her, she nor I want that, but to say how much I appreciate everything she does when she is able to do them.

Yes, there are times she cannot make it to church or church events due to not being able to move well or simply unable to get out of bed. But this does not mean she is unfaithful to God or His church…she is just in a tremendous amount of physical pain. I would not even wish that my worst enemy had what she has. I miss her deeply when she is unable to be with me at church (she is my strongest support and my helper). I hate traveling alone (except on my hunting trips with my dad). Even when she sleeps in the car while I drive, just having her there means the world to me.

So, if there are times you do not see her, then say a prayer for her. She might be in pain and in bed trying to ease the pain or she might be in the nursery or extended session with our grandson, Connor, and the other children. She loves the children, and she especially loves being Nana to Connor. My wife is an awesome wife, mom, Nana, and friend. She is God’s gift to me, and she strives to be the best pastor’s wife she can be. I love her more than words can express, and I thank God everyday for her. So, I am happy to brag on her in this note, because she makes me proud to be her husband. She truly is my “good thing.”